Accessorizing in the Monsoon Season!

Being a Brit, (or at least 1/2 British these days!!) and since it's monsoon season I have to devote at least one blog to rain! I'm not complaining about the rains - and I would go to Kerala again at this time of year. The sometimes dark and dank, the other-times fresh and heady smells, the vibrant lush shades of green, the feeling of life and growth. There was green growth on any flat and not so flat surface - the place is alive!!

And of course you can sing and dance in the rains -Wills and Deepu!

The obvious accessory this season is the umbrella:

We travelled to Kerala well prepared with gore tex, long pants etc. Totally unnecessary in the most part (except Munnar! -see later blog). The rains were short and very sharp, but not cold. So the best solution, wear shorts, tee-shirts and flip flops and carry the mandatory umbrella! It's humid so nothing dries very quickly except skin!! All you need is an umbrella, but life goes on, so you need to be able to function one handed:

Whatever form of transport you use!

And, of course, for those who need both their hands, the umbrella has been adapted and who said guys can't wear pink!

The women plucking tea leaves seemed to have found a more appropriate protection from  the elements:

What to do, if you get your spokes in a twist and have an umbrella mal-function, well you visit the umbrella walla:

In the periods when the rain stops, the earth is smelling fresh, one needs to hang up ones umbrella and kick back.............

Kerala, Kalypso and Kathakali

We knew Kerala was monsoon riddled, but the kids were off school and being Brits we knew we could cope! Courtesy of Kalyspo Adventures (I have to give them a plug - this was such a well put together and executed trip) we had embarked on a 2 week family eco-tour of Kerala. 

I had thought as Bangalore is, so all Indian cities are. But not the case - as we approached Cochin/Kochi from the airport, our first impressions were green, so green, clean, quiet - only the intermittent horn beep - not the unrelenting barrage of street noise we are used to, and so many fewer people - much slower and calmer! Bangalore is a melee of half finished projects - construction, roads, overpasses......The small country roads in Cochin were devoid of potholes, better maintained than the major highways here in Bangalore. Poor folks, yes of course. But not the deep, desperate, despairing type you find in Bangalore. Here it seems everyone is smiling - and in "Gods own country" there is a lot to smile about!


We spent our first 2 nights in Cochin/Kochi (it's so confusing how India cities change their names, some of the changes infusing into colloquial use and some just used on formal documents - so I'm still not really sure if I should be saying Cochin or Kochi!!) The hotels we stayed in were all small and full of character. No big chains of impersonality. This meant we felt safe having the boys in a separate bedroom for the first time - peace!! The hotel was set round a courtyard of green lush plants and statues, with archways over looking the water.

The tour was essentially us, a car and our guide and driver, the long suffering (he had to put up with the brats!) and ever smiling Deepu. This meant we had lots of flexibility on timings, working round the weather, and the kids requirements - all of which were happily accommodated. 


I would have been raving more about the food if on my first foray back to the gym yesterday Anand, the torturer, had not welcomed me with, "Maam have you put on some weight?". So I am now regretting all that wonderful sea food cooked in calorific coconut sauces, and we won't talk about the banana chips and banana fritters!!


Kathakali is the traditional dance of Kerala. Drag queens, eat your hearts out - this is something else! All male actors, overly made up, dramatically hysterical but oozing class and tradition told the old stories with their eyes. We watched a skinny little kid, professionally and competently transform mere men into larger than life characters. 

Above is the before, below the after!

The old stories are told through a language of expressions and gestures - and the facial expressions of the performers surely told a story! The traditional performances last for 4 or 5 hours but apparently (and truthfully) us foreign tourists don't have the staying power and can only manage a curtailed hour at most!

Old Cochin has quite a history - first explored by the Portuguese, leaving their trace in the Roman Catholic Churches and Basilica. Its so wonderful how, as in most of India, the churches, temples, mosques and even a synagogue were all cheek by jowl. 

We stopped at the dhoby, the laundry.  The "collectors" on bikes pick up the laundry on a daily basis from the hotels and restaurants and deposit it the dhoby where they are manually washed and scrubbed with vigor. 

They are then hung out for drying row on row. Somehow they do dry between the rain showers!

Ironing appears to be a male domain. Even our ironing guy at Vista is male.  This could be because ironing here is quite physical, involving quite some muscle power. The big heavy iron is fueled by burning coconut shells inside the base of iron which seems to be very effective as sheets and towels are quickly returned to looking as pristine as if they were fresh off a shelf in a high-end department store!

Fishing is a big industry here but well regulated, no danger of the waters being over fished -  these summer months there is no fishing in the sea as it is breeding time. As well as boat fishing, big Chinese fishing nets are lowered into the sea - by a system of weights and ropes. 

As the fishermen were currently unemployed as the fish go forth and multiply they were all too happy to let us try our hands and working the nets.

We do as usual stand out, but here it is Wills with his exotic looks and still chubby cheeks, not Adam with his pale skin and blond ( well, not so much these days, having arrived in India his hair has seemingly contradicting logic and has gone darker) who is getting all the attention. Unfortunately Wills hates it, whereas Adam doesn't seem to mind, and is always quite happy to chat to anyone and have his picture taken. 

Settled back in and what's the difference between a loan and an advance.

Recovery slowly from jetlag. There's only a 4 1/2 hour time difference from the UK, so I really don't understand why my body is being so slow in getting back to its normal sleep patterns.

The Europe trip is fading into the distance and we are conscious how the school vacation is at the tail end - but we are looking forward to 2 weeks in monsoon riddled Kerala as the finale!!

We knew we were definitely back in India yesterday when Simon had 3 requests for "advances"

Firstly from Simon's muscle manufacturer, or personal trainer, who as we are gone so much of the summer felt he needed paying for next month in advance. I didn't really understand the logic of this as he is already paid in advance and would never catch up. So, I'm thinking this maybe a loan in disguise. Anyway Simon said no, muscleman nodded, smiled and continued Simon's 4 time weekly torture session!

Then Shankar, our driver. Shankar was employed on the premise that, as we think he is well paid, we would not grant him any loans. When we employed him we were desperate for a driver so he was in the right place at the right time and we didn't negotiate over his salary request as much as we would have done otherwise. So, he asked for an advance of salary repayable over several months. Now, who are you kidding - this is a loan right?

Lastly Sweetie, apparently, not wanting to be left out requested that last months advance be deducted over several months salary. Again - this makes it a loan right? Also, she wants a raise. "But we have just started paying Vidya's school fees," I say "That's a raise". She looks at me: "But Ma'am that is different" How??????

We are open to helping Shankar and Sweetie when they need help, especially once they have been with us for a while. For example, we pay Sweetie's daughter's school fees and have paid for various medical bills. It's this feeling that they are trying to get one over us or think we are stupid that irritates and also, from their angle does not produce the desired result!!

Oh to be in England, now that summer's here (or is summer there?)

Through the chunnel, which was quick and painless, across London, out the other side and we chug through the beautiful green, rolling, British country side into the wonderful limestone Georgian buildings of Bath. And yes the sun was shining!

I always enjoy my trips to the UK, reconnecting with family and long lasting (don't like to say "old" anymore!!) friends, from school, college and work. But this time was different, I wasn't coming from or returning to my longtime home (California) but from my temporary base, Bangalore, which I think made our visit all the more sweet.

It was great to see everyone, hopefully we will meet again in the not too distant and until that time keep in touch. There were chatty catch up lunches, lazy afternoons in Henrietta Park more chatting and sipping tea while the kids played, glasses of wine in the Garrick's Head, exploring new restaurants which have sprung up in my absence, time with family members talking into the early hours.........

Done cricket in India, so now county cricket in the UK. Essex v Somerset on a balmy summer evening, in the shadows of the golden stone of Bath Abbey, sipping a glass of Pimms. Life is good!

So, what can top cricket as a typically British activity - it has to be croquet!

We rented a small mews house in central Bath which was 40 yds from the rec. ground where the cricket took place but was also available for public use - a good place to take the kids for a run!! Everything is so convenient -walking to Waitrose, all the shops, pubs, restaurants etc. Tho' this is something I have missed since we first left Bath in 1997!

Highlight for the kids was probably the reunion with the British Jumps from California in Cadbury world. Chocolate and great friends..,.almost too sweet!!

We got to spend a lot of time with my Dad, glider flying, mini golf, cricket and board games amongst the favorites. Not to mention too many treats for the boys, teas and lunches. The weather remained kind until the last morning when it compensated and we got to Heathrow with soggy shoes!

I have to confess not being too excited at the prospect of returning to India having relished some of the western ways for a couple of weeks. But once we landed, reunited with husband and father, it all felt familiar and where we should be just now. The kids were glad to be back to their own space, their possessions and friends - specifically "brother from another mother" across the street!!

So we've just settled in and its time to prepare for the final summer trip, 2 weeks to Kerala. But this time a short flight and no time change so no jetlag....why does jetlag get worse with age!!!

Where have all the people gone????

Back on western soil after 7 months - what did it feel like?, what did we notice?

Passing through Dubai airport is a shock to the indianised system, where there is nothing non-designer in the plentiful, busy shops (obviously the recession has not hit duty free Dubai) and the ladies drip diamonds out of their burqhas. But it serves as an introduction for a re-entry to the western world.

As we arrived into central Paris from CDG airport on the RER, the first thing that struck us was how empty everywhere was, where had all the people gone?  In central Paris, in the rain, a woman and 2 kids pulling their own suitcases - no-one looked twice. In Bangalore - white folks pulling their own cases - plenty of stares!! How clean the streets, how quiet, how cold!!, how bland, how purposeful the people, how organized and regulated the traffic, how drab the colors of the stylish clothes, how pale the skin but how many female shoulders, knees and cleavage exposed....not normal reactions to central Paris, but to us fresh from India our first thoughts.

To blog or not to blog? I had thought that I would only blog our impressions of europe from the expat perspective but Adam pointed out "Towers take a trip" should include our Trip to Europe, so this will be, I think a sort of halfway house.

I always thought when we left the UK, in 1997, that I would really miss Mediterranean Europe and I have. To be back in Paris was wonderful, there really is no place like it - I have an enduring love affair with Paris, but then who doesn't? To sit in a cafe, sipping real coffee, munching a real French croissant watching Paris wake-up.......

But talking of love and Paris, what is new since my last visit is the "Love Padlock" - no this is not about to get X-rated!! Couples buy a padlock, write their names on it, lock it on one of the bridges over the Seine, declare their undying love and jettison the key into the waters below. Sounds romantic but apparently there are issues - how much weight can the bridge carry, does this spoil the view etc.etc. On a more personal basis, what to do if your true love ceases to be - do you come back unlock (having kept a spare key), erase and recycle? Near the bridge were folks conveniently selling padlocks, some with three keys, menage a trois? -no lets not go there!

This was the first time I had visited Paris with kids so it was a tad different from my previous visits. Cafe life was somewhat curtailed once the food was consumed. We actually went up the Eiffel Tower which I'd previously always shunned as far too touristy.  Now we were tourists we had to take the cheesy pic. A better pic would have been all the would-be photographers squirming and repositioning to try and get the angle right for this one!

We had a quick visit into the Louvre but only so Adam could see the Mona Lisa. The other wonderful art museums didn't get a look in!! We walked up to Montmartre, Sacre Ceour and watched the painters and artists. Adam was aghast the number of people smoking - that's my all american boy!

The main things that struck us was the way we could sit and watch the world go by instead of the world watching us, the independence and ease of getting about - hopping on and off the Metro, not too mention the BateauBus.  Highlights of Paris for both boys was the food and the Metro tho' Adam did expand his top hits to include the architecture!

Our hotel was cheap for Paris, so a bit down market - chipped furniture, wall paper peeling and paint flaking and hardly enough room to turn around but it was central to the Gare Du Nord, facilitating our entry and exit to/from Paris and our getting about. I couldn't believe how expensive Paris was, but then I had arrived after a 15 year absence via the US and India! We had breakfasts and dinners in the same cafes a few yards away from the Hotel, so the waiters got to know us and were patient with mine and Adam's french. I was quite amazed at how I could easily I could remember, speak and understand basic french conversation and also how Adam did try and use his even more basic french! Picnic lunches, those fresh baguettes, cheese, peaches, cherries did not actually last until lunch time! The ease of buying and eating street food without thought, drinking water out of the taps and for Adam milk by the beaker was truly wonderful.

However, once we had been in France maybe 24 hours, I lost the ability/need to compare everything to India, and Paris seemed the norm! How quickly we adjust!

Going dark and getting confused!!

Last night Adam's 5th grade teacher, from Graystone in San Jose, popped in to our house in Bangalore for a visit. Adam really enjoyed seeing her - 5th grade was one of the highlights of his elementary school experience.

Today, Monday, we met up with friends from San Jose who are visiting family in Bangalore. It was wonderful to see Veda, Pranav and Pavana and catch up on all the Almaden going ons!! Altho' it made me realize we have been away quite a while as Pranav especially is looking much more grown up.

Tomorrow we fly to Paris for a few days, then through the chunnel to the UK where we meet up with the Jumps, who are renting our house in California, who will also be visiting family in the UK. We are meeting up for the day in Cadbury World.

All aspects of our expat life are overlapping - the world is shrinking, its wonderful that living in India we are not loosing our friends and connections elsewhere - but the "where am I?", "what am I doing?" gets a bit confusing!!

But its also bye-bye blog for a couple of week and hello real espresso, croissants and CHEESE, not to mention vin rouge followed by the good old motherland, family, old friends from school days, college days.........and hopefully, dare I say it, not too much rain!!

Four weddings and.....no battery in the camera!!

Yes, I've now been to 4 weddings in the last seven months here in India. Last night Simon and I went to the reception (before the wedding) of a brother of one of his colleagues. I left my camera battery on charge at home - so pics are from our i-phones - not the best!!

This reception was hosted in a party hall in the distant suburbs of northern Bangalore.  Tracking down an address in Bangalore is not as straight forward as plugging the details into your sat. nav. or GPS. Every area has 1st, 2nd, 3rd.... Main and 1st, 2nd, 3rd....  Cross, which are not always in chronological order. As the city has grown the old villages/areas have slowly overlapped and intertwined. Essentially one slowly homes in on the venue. First one drives towards the area/village. Then one has to identify prescribed "landmarks" (bus stops, temples, malls etc) - these are normally located by asking other drivers, pedestrians, shop keepers etc. The trick seems to be determining who actually really knows where said landmark is and who is just getting a bit of  exercise waving their arms about in a random fashion. Once you have found said landmarks you know you are close and yes the brightly illuminated wedding hall is visible. As this is an auspicious time of year, weddings abound, so a quick check we are at the right one and in we go!!

Manju, Simon's colleague, had been involved in the preparations for the wedding for weeks. He comes from a very traditional Indian family, the extended family live together and therefore are all closely involved in the preparations. I'm not sure how many people were invited as the reception is quite an informal event as regards timings - you can drop in and drop out! I think everyone in the village (the outskirts of Bangalore seems to be a collection of villages) was invited. Update from Simon, about 3,000 were invited! A carpenter at Infosys, replacing a door knob on Simon's office door the following day, was proud to tell Simon he had seen him at the wedding!

The bride and groom had only met two months previously, this being an arranged marriage, and poor things still seemed a tad ill at ease with each other under the endless flash and glare of the cameras. They both looked great - the bride in traditional red and gold and I imagine feeling weighed down by all her glittering jewelry.

The format of the reception - which differs throughout the country, apparently can even be slightly tweaked from village to village -  got under way as people gradually arrived and were seated. The women and kids all in their finery - the color of the saris and the abundant jewelry was breathtaking. The guys however definitely lower the tone!! - pair of pants and a short sleeved shirt seemed to suffice. The bride and groom then walk down the aisle to the flower decked stage where two thrones await. At that moment everyone leaps out of their seats and there is a sort of polite stampede to form a line to greet the happy couple. It took a while for me to work out that once your particular family group has wished the couple, handed over gifts, been photographed, the next stop is dinner. So was the mini stampede to wish the couple well or head to dinner? Apparently in the village chatter the next day, the quality and quantity of the food can be a deciding factor in assessing the "success" of the wedding! I imagine this wedding passed with flying colors as everyone seemed to be enjoying the spread with great gusto!

As with everything in India there is an interesting juxtaposition of the old and the new. The photo/TV screen technology was the latest - as pics were taken they were instantly uploaded onto the 2 LCD screens - not just straight up but with all sorts of backgrounds and artistic effects.  This combined with the traditional Indian dress and the traditional foods and eating customs. The food is served on a banana leaf - hows that for going green!

I do seriously think that home cooked food, eaten with your fingers tastes the best. There's something earthy and wholesome about eating with your fingers and apparently it is more sanitary than using utensils, as long as you wash your hands. Apparently not all dish washers get up to temperature and people can get sick as much from the silverware, cups and plates as from the food. Well the food was absolutely delicious - we tried everything, at least once.!!

The hospitality was once again so generous. I always felt sorry for Simon spending long hours at work but now I've met some of his colleagues I'll have to rethink. They were all really friendly and a lot of fun! Apparently they are trying to educate Simon in Indian culture - I think on that one they have a long way to go!

It was a really great evening - and yes I am wearing the same, as for the previous weddings! - really gotta go shop!!