Disempowered and overwhelmed by a cupcake!

Well not any old cupcake but a specifically requested Star Wars cupcake!!

Wills turns seven tomorrow and we have a similar problem to the one we had at Christmas, there is nothing he wants for a gift - but he does want Star Wars cupcakes to take to school on Wednesday. As this is all my baby wants, I really don't want to disappoint him, especially as last year as we had recently arrived here he didn't really get either a party or a cake.

In the US, no problem - either go and ask Mr Safeway/Micheals/Party City etc. for the completed article or at least the frosting/decorations. Throw a batch of cup cakes together in my "recently remodelled beautiful kitchen", color some frosting, clag on the decorations and voila. No stress, easy peasy!

Having just returned from the US, where I had once again bid farewell to my "recently remodeled beautiful kitchen" and have now renewed my acquaintance with my toaster oven, I was feeling particularly pathetic and incapable when faced with this seemingly daunting task. However, with 48 hours to go this was not the time for feeble self pity, but time for action!

So I "googled". The results were incredibly scary. I found marzipan Yoda's, upside down cupcake Clones, realistic R2D2's, oreo/marshmallow tie-fighters, chocolate Chew Bacca's..... Some of which I could have managed if I had some idea where to find the ingredients......marshmallows, marzipan, unusual food colorings...... I had visions of me (and poor Shankar) spending the next few days on numerous wild goose chases through the street of Bangalore searching for elusive ingredients..... Not a happy sight.

However, then I remembered Lisa, Joan and Dawn - these brave fellow ex-pats, who have not been thwarted from producing their delicious home baked goods by indifferent culinary equipment or the difficulties to be overcome in finding key ingredients. I frequently drool over Dawn's blog "Moving for Mangoes" with pictures of her Bangalore baked delights and even managed to visit Lisa the morning after a Christmas cookie cook-out and reaped the benefits!! So I emailed and texted for help, in a rather un-Helen like panic - I'm blaming that at least on the jet lag!

I soon had a plan - the sort of simple plan that suits me best and having borrowed, been directed to the relevant store etc. put the following together, which I'm hoping is obviously a couple of light sabers! If anyone asks me what it is supposed to be - one of those cupcakes may end up somewhere it shouldn't!

 I thought the lego clones etc. may aid in the identification of the light sabers

 These little decorative light sabers were entirely my idea - I'm actually quite proud of them - sticks are from "Yan Yan" chocolate dip snacks (Hypercity) and then black and green colored frosting.

Now I just have to hope and pray they survive an hour long bumpity bump on the drive to Indus!

I have tried to conduct life here on an "if we can't find it easily forget it" basis. We are living in India, not the US/UK so be it, deal with it. But having just returned from 3 weeks in the US, and become re-accustomed to the conveniences of everyday life, or maybe it was just that beautiful little face asking for this one thing for his Birthday, I've had a temporary change of policy! Wills is also having a Birthday party - but that's a weeks or so off but please, please Wills just a bog standard cake with candles!!

You know you are back in India when......

- the airport is bustling at 4.00am, people are chatting, shooting the breeze and generally having a good time - it's the middle of the night for heavens sake!!

- there is plenty to see out of the car window on the way back from the airport, life is out there, the city never sleeps!

- car horns fill the night air.

- there is that smell, that is not good or bad, but is hard to describe and distinctly Indian.

- you are banished to passenger status after driving quite happily in the orderly traffic flows of the US.

- someone calls you "ma'am"

- arriving home, you lie in bed and hear that wailing, whining buzz which foretells that no matter how much you shroud yourself mummy style in your bed sheets you will awaken with several red wheals - my eternal enemy here in India...... the mosquito,

- I put my boots back in the attic before leaving the US and have now put my ankle chain back on - its sandal time, the window are open all night and it is WARM!!

- At 6.30pm as it starts to get dark I am texting the likely moms in the 'hood who may have seen Wills in the not too distant as its time to send him home. In the US I hardly saw Ads, here I hardly see Wills!

- I can hear Sweetie and Shankar talking as they make tea, the gardeners outside chatting, kids yelling as the cycle by (last day of the hols), drivers shooting the breeze as they eat lunch in the shade across the street, neighbors laughing as they take their daily constitutionals around the hood. The general hum of life is an integral part of existence here - windows open and the sounds of India permeate, a definite feeling of connection to the outside world.

- you are greeted on your return to the gym by "Ma'am, you have put on a little weight"

- power cuts and the click, click as the generator tries to connect in and then out again

- my morning cup of chai and my blog!

Huge Thanks to.........................

- those who welcomed us to stay - in their homes, whether they were home or not, or as guests in our home (which was not as weird as it sounds!!), - the hospitality was wonderful, to have an additional 4 bodies to share your homes and lives over Christmas is not easy I know, so thanks and more thanks.
- those who shared their Christmas Day with us - for us, whilst it was an unusual Christmas Day, you guys made it also a great one!
- everyone whom we visited, some planned, some drop in, some to eat, some to drink, some just to chat, we loved spending time with all of you,
-  Santa Claus who found my kids,
-  the first Almaden family we dropped in on and whose welcome set the stage for the rest of our trip,
- everyone who made us feel so welcome, we began to forget we had even been gone!
- for including us in our neighborhood party,
- those who cooked us our first red meat in quite some time, roast beef and Yorkshire pudding - we will be back!!
- those who had us co-star in their church's Christmas pagaent,
-  the "can I be in the photo too" surprise visitor who took a massive detour to see us in Auburn
-  those who shared their family Holiday traditions - the trip to the Nutcracker, to church, Christmas Eve baked ham....
-  the Brits who shared their long labored over real Christmas cakes and mince pies,
-  those who had Ads to stay on mainly unplanned sleepovers and cooked him sumptuous breakfasts the likes of which he hadn't seen for a year and is still talking about,
-  those (you know who you are) who once again managed to produce a noisy, obnoxious Christmas gifts for the kids - Wills and his buds are laughing hysterically as they sing falsetto into the elf voice changer
-  Brit friends, radio 1, champagne and the early New Year,
-  she who got me back on the tennis court, now itching to play more,
-  Starbucks - for still making tall skinny vanilla's!
- the immigration guy who enthusiastically welcomed me back onto US soil - this being the first time I had entered the US as an American citizen,
- the ride to the airport,
- letting me hold the new addition to the Almaden ladies gang,
- for bearing with us if we didn't get to see you or not for long enough (tho' that's true for everyone!!)

We are so blessed to have such friends, will miss you all until we meet again.

So was it hard to return to India - as Ads said "I have unfinished business there", and that is how it feels, as wonderful as it was to back home, I am not ready to say goodbye to my adopted home. There is more to see, experience, learn in this crazy, curious, chaotic, colorful country. NPR had a thing on Facebook where you could put your one word to sum up 2011, ours was indeed "colorful".

Sports Day at Indus (and I'm bragging on Wills behalf!)

Our second Indus sports day and Wills has graduated from obstacle races where taking part equates to a medal, to more serious stuff!

Most of the events and heats were on Tuesday and I agonized over whether to go or not and decided against. Wills came home clutching 2 gold medals (out of 3 events) and luckily a place in the finals today, so I didn't miss everything!

Sports day started with the drill which again, as per last year I was feeling a bit unexcited about. However to see all the kids in line and pretty well synchronized I was soon appreciating the practice (lots) and discipline which had gone into the show. It was quite a picture.

Wills was in the final of the boys 1st grade 50m sprint, red war paint on (house colors) and set to go:

The picture is pretty pathetic but as it was a close race I was too busy cheering Wills (far right) on to click away with my usual abandon in the crucial finishing stages - real life took over from my usual diligent picture taking. While all this action was taking part on the sports grounds, Ads and the other middle school and higher school kids were scribbling away inside, completing their last half-yearly exam.

Wills kicked hard to take another gold...and make another trip to the podium. What was especially cool here was that the Mom/Dad of the gold medalist got to present the medals to the three medalists. As Simon is away reminiscing in Oxford I got the job!!

And that wasn't the end of the matter - having taken 3 out of a possible 4 gold medals, Wills got the Individual 1st Grade Boy Championship cup:

and then to celebrate with the other cup winners from the elementary grades:

Looking back at his Prep 2 sports day pictures last year, this has been an amazing change, from doodling around in an obstacle race to being high fived by his head of house..... The change from everyone's a winner to winner takes all did not seem to have any negative effects on the kids who didn't win, they just accept that they hadn't won a running race, a bit like Wills accepts in the classroom he never gets 10/10 in a spelling test. It was actually nice to see them have a 'proper' sports day, bit like we did at school, though I never made the podium!!

We miss Ads sports day next week as we leave for the airport in a few hours - I guess that means I need to go pack. First time back on US soil for over a year, first time entering the US as a citizen...lots to write about I'm sure!!

Coming around for the second time!

This must be a mile stone...I have been to an annual event for the second time.

Last year I remember warily approaching my first bible study meeting with trepidation, especially as it was the Christmas meeting. I remember as a student just starting university - I was not a cool kid but I not totally wet, I went and looked in the window of the Christian Union meeting and decided everyone looked too limp and low key even for me, same with the bridge club so I headed for the wine society - enough said!

Anyway going blind into a regular meeting where you have handed over your email address, will no doubt bump into the folks again on your ex-pat travels is also a bit scary incase you need to extracate yourself from the situation.

However, I have to say these ladies from all over the world with all their different stories have been a real blessing to me over the least 12 months. Ex-pat life has a real potential for hiccups both big and small. The combination of living in a foreign country and being so far away from kith and kin throws up its share of anxieties, angst and anguish. Being with such a group of sisters on the journey, to give praise for the highs and prayers for the lows has been incredible support.

So, this year, I bounced up the drive way of our host's house, excited to see my friends, yes they are now that, to celebrate the coming of Christmas.

When I run I always find the first mile the hardest. The second the best as I'm relaxed, warmed up, in a rhythm........ but not yet getting weary. Will this metaphor work for our second lap around the Indian track, only time will tell!

I said I wouldn't .......

but I couldn't resist.

Yes we are leaving Bangalore for Christmas and I tried really hard but I simply had to put up the tree! It maybe as small and lacking lustre as last year but its is a Christmas tree!!

Even my Hindu neighbors have there trees up, so I couldn't be out done!!

Last year in Bangalore I'm sure Christmas didn't really get going until the week before the actual event, and I really struggled to find a tree and decorations, and then it was a very low key event outside the big shopping malls and international hotels. What a difference a year makes!

Christmas music, the usual golden oldies were piping loud and clear round the grocery store just after Thanksgiving as I ordered at the deli to "White Christmas", had my fruit and veggies weighed to "Rudolph the Red" and cashed up and out "Rocking around the Christmas Tree." There is a Christmas Tree/ornament shop along Commercial street and even the little road side fancy stores abound with ornaments and even cards. I really think Christmas has hit bigger, louder, and earlier this year in Bangalore.

Whether the Christmas story is accompanying the decorative side............

Last year our pre-Christmas run-up was rather thin, firstly because we were drowning in a sea of unpacking boxes and secondly as we didn't really know what we or anyone else was doing!!

This year the pre-Christmas run up is in force which means we have picked out names, bought and wrapped as a "secret santa" for some of Bangalore's less fortunate kids (really just a drop in the ocean, but a lot of drops do make a puddle...etc.), sang carols at Church, have Bible study Christmas do tomorrow (potluck and gift exchange), OWC Christmas lunch Thursday (gift exchange), have already said Happy Christmas to some friends also pulling out early and whom we won't see until after the New Year. Wills has a field trip to see the movie "Puss in Boots" - no idea how that fits in!

The mini Waitrose franchise in the grocery store has exorbitantly priced traditional Christmas cake and mince pies. So ridiculously over - priced I wonder if they just pulled out last years again as I can't imagine who buys!! But one thing I can't get here, at any price, is my eggnog latte - that will have to be in the early hours of Saturday morning in Dubai airport!! We seem to have a "Dubai Airport" family tradition - Starbucks for me and the best ice-cream in the world for the kids! Simon taking the none - kid route via Europe will no doubt find his own treat, yes I get double brat flights both ways!

One 'problem' we haven't encountered before is that neither of the kids really want anything for Christmas. There are just blank pages to send to Santa. Whether this is an age thing (12 and 6), or a reflection of the fact they are a little removed from consumerism here I don't know. Wills spends all his time outside with a ball and a bat - and that is all he wants. Ads always seems busy with what he has, and of course the school day is longer so less time to play. So Santa will have to use his brain and be inventive!!!

So, for a couple of days we will sit and enjoy our little Indian Christmas tree....

Parenting Ex-pat brats!

As well as blogging I have been writing articles for the Rangoli - the OWC monthly magazine which is no big deal as it gets delivered to all members (1,000) whether they like it or not, but its still pretty cool seeing myself in print! Anyway this was in this months issue and spotlights some issues I have!

One of the more subtle changes in my life since touching down in Bangalore has been the parenting issues. We have moved way past the immediate “have we done the right thing” reaction to brat the younger’s tears at the bus stop each morning in our first few weeks, but the parenting issues, nearly a year in, are still somewhat different to those faced in the U.S. I don’t pretend to have any of the answers if, in fact, there are any.

Firstly the helmet issues. Being of US birth and upbringing my kids are used to wearing helmets at the mere hint of a bike ride, never riding their bikes after dark and have endured numerous lectures on “road safety.” Now we live in a community where no child – no matter their age or biking prowess (or lack thereof) wears a helmet and kids on bikes, skateboards and scooters race over speed bumps in the dark with motorcyclists, cars and water tankers. Do I let my kids run with the pack or relegate them to the dorkiest of dorks and insist they wear a helmet and are home before 6.00pm?

I do feel that should one of my kids fall off their bike in the neighborhood someone would patch them up, put them back on board and point them homeward. There is definitely a much stronger feeling of community here than in our US street. However a neighbor with a band aid is not going to be much help after a head on collision with a motorbike!

Talking of motorbikes what then do I say when brat the younger wants to jump on the back of the driver’s motorbike to pop out of the ‘hood to buy cricket cards or because he can’t carry the gift he needs to take to a neighbors birthday party on his push bike? It’s only a two minute trip and I remember motor biking helmetless round the Greek Islands with the wind in my hair and I know that is not the point …………………. But what to do?

Despite having unlimited (almost) freedom in the neighborhood, brat the elder (age 12) has been chaffing to leave the ‘hood parentless with his buddy to buy provisions (aka candy and soda) from the local stores.  On this one I do give the OK. Working out the most sugar and junk food they can get for 50 rupees is good for their math, right?

The only qualm I have when leaving them home with my maid/driver is whether brat the younger will terrorize either into resigning.

I am still suffering from “hover” withdrawal.  Although I was never such a low flying hovering helicopter as some, I did spend substantial time “hovering” –in the guise of volunteering, at the kids elementary school in the US, cheering on the sidelines at soccer, den mom at cub scouts etc. etc.  Here I have had to let go big time and it’s not been easy.  I have much less idea what my kids get up to at school or running wild in the ‘hood once they are home and at weekends. I honestly sometimes don’t know if they are at home or in who’s home. But I guess they are essentially enjoying the freedom and independence I did as a kid – I need to consider maybe I am here to pick them up when required, not to continually prop them up!

Then school, coming from a world of extra credit (yes in the US it is perfectly possible to get over 100%), where phonetic spellings are quite acceptable, praise comes cheap, the honor role is extensive, thorough supervision is provided in the limited free time in limited play areas, parents are welcome to hover as much as they wish…….  there have been some parenting concerns. However brat the younger has evolved from being shy, sad and scarred to requiring some reigning in at times and although brat the elder initially found it difficult to accept that it is not possible to be a straight A student with relatively no effort, he is now enjoying having to rise to a challenge and also looking out for himself a lot more.

Then there have been the questions.  About the poverty, the pollution, the religions, the traditions…… Life  - the good, the bad and the ugly is out on the street – no hiding it away from the brats or pretending it doesn’t exist. In this wild, exotic, frenetic country, there are so many teaching and learning opportunities both for us and to pass on to our kids, I just hope I can do them justice.

If when we leave here my kids have a glimmer of social conscience, a global perspective, a wider spiritual awareness, an environmental responsibility, and a sense of adventure, and of course there have been no bike related trips to the hospital, I will feel as parents we are on the right tracks!!