Friday, May 31, 2013

Another school year is nearly gone............

With kids, the years seem more marked around the school year, than the calendar year.

So we come to the end of 8th and 2nd grade.

I have now lived with a teenager for a whole school year!! It has not been as bad as I envisaged. In fact I'd go as far as to say it's been a good year. The conversation is challenging in a positive way, the opinions interesting, the discussions entertaining....... and having his friends at the dinner table just magnifies the above. The most disconcerting factor is the height - how did we get to being (not necessarily seeing) eye to eye? I always thought I was tall - 5ft 9 1/2inches for a girl is pretty good - but transpires it's only as tall as a 13 year old boy!! The second most disconcerting thing is the food consumption - how can a huge dinner be consumed into that somewhat lean body and hunger be professed maybe twenty minutes later?

The personality is now distinctly his, not a spin off of us. There are facets of his character that are most definitively "Adam", his opinions no longer younger echoes of ours. As we go through all the phases of parenthood and are way nearer to his leaving home than his arrival, I have to say it gets in some ways more interesting  - he knows things I don't, he has ideas that are way out of my box.

And I (not him) almost need him to have a phone. He, is happy without - his friends when they haven't lost them, forgotten to charge them, or simply left them home, are generally phone equipped and he knows my number so he just borrows when he needs and big bonus - knows I can't find him!! And how do his friends get hold of him - simple they call me. "Hi, this is ........, is Adam there?" or text me "Ask Adam 2 call". Not sure I like my new role as Ads' P.A.!!

The parenting issues are changing. Can I please go to bed before him? Do I let him get an auto with his mates? by himself?, walk to the mall by himself? walk and get a haircut by himself? Do I bully him to study even when he says he doesn't need to? and the internet and social networking - how much to try and monitor (his computer prowess is way beyond mine) or not? the list is endless........The balance between independence and safety, treating this inbetweeny as a child or adult.... My aim after all is for an 18 year old to walk out of this house in four plus years time able to look after himself and make a constructive contribution in the world.

We are also moving into a new phase of our lives - we can leave them home alone!  Big guy is pretty  responsible and with the age difference being over 5 years, little guy listens to big guy. They very rarely fight, or at least that I know of!! We have been out as grown-ups way more this year, either planned or spontaneously - can do both.

And the not so little, little guy who will always be my baby........Growing up too! More responsible, more independent and all together easier. He definitely had either delayed toddler years or very premature pre-teen times. I'd say, to date, five to seven, have been to most difficult with Mr knows his own mind, drama king, charmer and player!!

So truly blessed to have them both in our family, so different yet so together.

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